y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
