I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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