I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
