Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
