Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
