I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
