You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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