marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
People in love make me want to vomit
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't deserve a penis
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
