I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
