Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
