i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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