Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
