my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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