I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
