New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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