i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
