the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
