What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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