I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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