im drinking this country out of the recession.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
