Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
