Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I hope mine doesn't look like that
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
