so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
