do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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