There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
