so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
