it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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