haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
