Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
