if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
