no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
