Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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