Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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