You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sober January is a disaster.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
