god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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