Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
