I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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