I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We have started to decorate penises.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
