just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
