you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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