I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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