For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
