I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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