A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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