she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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