She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
