thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
