Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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