Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
