I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
