I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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