Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
ttyl tear gas
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
