I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
