On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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