Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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