don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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